I'm not indian, I'm not IITian, but... I met one. (Yeah, I'm a girl)
He came for an intership in my country, in Europe. He was living in my university residence, we were lobbymates, and.... I totally fell in love with him.
I still don't know exactly why, but I love him like hell.
It was around 2 years ago.
We were dating, spending time together everyday, I took care of him a lot (he was really enjoying the whole free alcool here and was partying a lot), I gave him all I had, but we agreed from the beginning that when he will come back to Indian, we'll be just friends.
We knew it was just for a few weeks.
The day he left my country, he told me he loved me, and I started crying in the street, broken-hearted, reading his text message.
We kept in touch for month, by FB, skype, and he was making me SO HAPPY.
My happiness and my smile were existing only when I could see his face on my screen or hear his voice...
It was his last year at university and he had to study a lot, I left him alone, he was ignoring me and talking to me from time to time.
Til' one day, I was so sad on this day, already 1 year he left and I told him I really had to move on and I removed him from my FB account, he was so angry with me, he refuses for weeks to talk to me again.
I told him I'll come to India for 3 weeks.
I came, and... I never met him. At the beginnin he was just not answering on the phone, finally he called me once telling me he was arriving to Jaipur but I already left the city... And since that day, he never answered to my calls again while I was in India. I was so hurted but I thought it was what I really needed to definitely move on.
We were still chilling from time to time, and I was still so happy even if I was trying to date others guys, til' that day, around 2 months ago.
I just left hospital (operation) and he called me, wanted to know how I was, and so on... and finally we talked for more than 5h.
He told me how he was regretting not have tried enough to meet me when I was in India, he told me he hated his life, his job, he was missing me and he loves me like hell, almost crying. (He's gonna hate me for writing that, I know it)
He told me I was his soulmate and he was not feeling complete since the day he left my country and he will never be. He told me he wanted to marry me and spend the rest of his days with me, he was so sad and so honest.
He broke my heart again because I love him so much and I couldn't support see him so lost and suffering so much...
I finally had the hope we could try to be together, that we deserve it...
The day after, he texted me saying he was sorry and drunk the day before and that it was his last message ever to me.
Since that day, I don't have any news about him.
Then, G., I have to tell you that because I'll maybe be never strong enough to tell you directly cauz I love you too much :
I love you, but I hate you. You didn't have the right to decide for us both.
You don't have the right to decide to enter and leave my life when you want.
I'm human, I have feelings, and you know how much I love you and it's not doing these kind of things you'll succeed to make me move on.
I'm not happy without you, and I won't.
Maybe you should understand that !
And I hate so so so so much.... I would like to punch you in the face, I dream about to meet you and hit you so strong, just to evacuate all of my sadness and my angryness
I just want you to hold me again, I just want to hear you saying me again you love me, I just want to deserve your love...
I have the sensation I'll never be the one you deserve but I want it to be so badly...
I just want you to heel my heart being by my sides.... Please.
Stop. Ignoring. Me.
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