Gemingdo Fighting

"Gather around and listen children, to my tale of Gemdingo Fighting.

This vacation I undertook a noble task.

Whenever I get a packet of Cadbury Gems, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. Taking two candies in between my thumb and forefinger, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That one is the ""loser"", and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. After several weeks of data collection and analysis, I have found, that in general, the red and green ones are tougher, and the blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue Gems as a race cannot survive in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack food world.

Occasionally I get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, pointier or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, however on very rare occasions this gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one 'Gem', the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

Cadbury Gems

Cadbury India ltd.

Cadbury House

19, B Desai Road

Mumbai 400 026

Maharashtra

along with a card reading, ""Please use this Gem for breeding purposes.""

This week, they wrote back to me to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free bag of Cadbury Gems. I consider this 'grant money'. I have set aside the next week for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the one True Champion of Gemdingo fighting. There can be only one.